Pictures from last year

Various pictures from the last year that didn't really fit into any other category or blog that I wrote.

My new year resolutions and finding Me.

My goals this year were to rid my life of all the extras that make me frustrated, stressed out and at times panic stricken. I started January 1st with a 1 mile run with Veronica in the first snow of the new year. I have maintained some exercise everyday since then. While the scale is seriously not budging my clothes are beginning to get looser in a lot of places. I am most happy of all that it is in the waist too. So I can check off working towards losing those pounds that leave me sad to look at myself somedays. Every day is a new start and every day I choose to make positive choices...well except that pizza I ate last night....

Next I am going through closets, cabinets and hidey holes and tossing, giving away, and really trying to decide why I felt I needed all that stuff anyways. I've managed to get through the kitchen, bathrooms and linen closets....still need to do the storage room and bedrooms...Good thing the year is 12 months long...I still have 10 months to attack the worst areas of the house.

Thirdly is the relationships in my life that just draw so much energy out of me. You know which ones those are...the ones that you put so much of yourself into them and in the end you get nothing out of them. This one is the most difficult out of all the areas. I am not good at telling people that they aren't good for me and need to take a hike. I worry about their feelings even as I begin to tell them that there is something wrong. I see the look in their eyes or a hitch in their breath as we talk on the phone. Once I see the look or hear the intake of breath I back away. Definitely need to work on this more.

My mantras throughout the day: Clutter free is the way I am meant to be...; The pain is only temporary...the exercise is a lifelong process; My time not theirs...I deserve this time; It is only 1 hour out of the day that I am stealing away from others; I need to put me first...they will always be asking for me.

Without those mantras I wouldn't get all the way through the first mile of the run, the second shelf of the closet, or many other places I find myself to be. Don't get me wrong.. I love my family and friends and they do deserve time with me or the time that I put into the relationships, but I also need to take time for me to be the best me I can be. All too often women place so much onto their plates then are unable to find a moment for breath. I want to be the grandma playing with her grandchildren, the lady travelling the world in retirement, and the soul feeling free and careless when I am 60 or 70. I wont have that if I don't do this for myself now.