This morning I woke up at 6:30am and no one else was up yet. I thought I should really try to get more sleep as tomorrow is the first day of school for the year and Hubby starts his new job with a little bit of a commute. We all can use sleep right? Well, evidently my brain thought NOT! So I rolled out of bed and put on some running clothes, grabbed some headphones and my shoes and went onto the front porch. The underground sprinklers were on and I whined for a few minutes in my head about getting wet before I even started working out. I put my shoes on and decided to skip through the gardens to miss the vast majority of the water. I still got WET!..ugh ok not so bad it was a little cool to keep me cool while running.
I figured I'd just do one mile then I could take a shower and say there I did it...right? Nope I ran and got to the half mile and kept going figuring I'd just do two miles, but kept going then and the same at the 1.5 miles. Well nearly 4 miles later I made it home, and in less than an hour and drenched in more sweat than those sprinklers had I just gone through on the sidewalk.
So where is the Real in this? Well here is the real...I am not a small girl by any means. I have been trying to lose weight for years, well I have been saying I have been trying. I work out at least 4 times a week, some weeks even 6 or 7 times. I try to eat healthy, though somehow bad carby foods and chocolate keep finding their way into my mouth. While running I fight the demons in my head that berate me for trying, telling me I am too slow, that the stitch in my side and the racing of my heart is me dying. I fight those voices that have been placed in my head by so many others over the years that I am Fat, that I am worthless, that I will never be small or skinny, that I have a cute face. I fight the fear of what I will look like smaller and the extra skin that I will have. I fight the fear that I will no longer have breasts that hold themselves up to some extent as I lose fat. I fight the skin on skin of my thighs and arms on my body. I fight the pain in my ankles, the stress fractures in my feet, the twinges in my knees, and the inevitable knotted muscles in my back.
Here is another real...I can run, I can jump, I can swim, I can bike, I can push myself, I can accomplish more than I set out to do, I can fight those voices in my head, I can calm the anxiety that tears my stomach up, I can be better.
Here is my final real...You can do all these things too. You can be the best you once you allow yourself to become the best you. You need to control your thoughts. You need to know that what you think of yourself is far more important than anyone else. Yes there are those that will smirk or outright laugh in your face for you trying. Know this, they do it out of fear of not accomplishing something great in their lives. Go get your life. Make you the best. These are the reals for today.
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